My fundamental thesis when it comes to public speaking is to start from yourself. There are no answer keys or templates for how it should be done. I know there is money in giving ready and swift answers to how it should be done. I don’t believe in that method. I do believe there are principles and theories that can be shared and tried and developed – but the work has to be done by each person who wants to be a good public speaker.
When I say “start from yourself” that is not the same thing as “be yourself”. You are different versions of yourself in different situations. Being yourself in a public environment does not always mirror what you are like with your mother, or with your lover.
Starting from yourself means to use the strengths you have that are quite unique for you. Your body is different from mine. And your face, your voice, your vocabulary. These are the tools you’ll use and for them to work as efficiently as possible for you, you need to be aware of them, nurture them and sharpen them.
Ages ago, when I was young, we had a class in public speaking in my university class. There is one moment that still sticks to my memory, because it demonstrates my point above so clearly. I delivered a speech in front of the camera, I don’t remember the subject. I stood quite straight, used my arms to emphasize my points as usual, and was done with it. My by-then-boyfriend did pretty much the same thing. But the teacher had a comment about my boyfriend’s body language, saying it was a tad too cocky. I raised the question that I had used quite the same body language, but the teacher didn’t say anything about me coming across as “cocky”. The teacher answered: “you don’t have the same bodies”.
Which was true enough.
This attitude, or principles, is something you’ll find that I come back to, in coming posts about your tools, your body language, your mimics and your voice.
Nervousness is your friend
I would also like to say a few words on the subject of nervousness. Are you nervous about public speaking? If so, you’re in good company.
As I mentioned in the post about Public speaking – What’s it about?, most groups I have met in workshops are nervous. In some cases to the extent of feeling physically ill. To de-stigmatise this, I often lead with the question “Who in here is not nervous to deliver a speech?”. This is cue to talk about nervousness, and I started turning the perspectives around when I realized that it would de-stigmatise the subject further if it was clear that the odd ones were the ones who were not nervous.
Leading communication expert and Stanford University lecturer Matt Abrahams, highlights that almost everyone has anxiety about public speaking. In fact, the number one fear that people have are fear of public speaking or stage fright. In second place comes fear of death…
So don’t fret about being nervous. Not only is it a very common phenomena. It is also a good one. As a matter of fact, nervousness is your friend.
Being nervous means your body is preparing for a situation when it will have to deliver. It kickstarts the adrenaline-process, which in turn makes sure that you are ready and focused. Which you have to be, if you are to deliver a good speak.
To summarize around nervousness – Jerry Seinfeld says it brilliantly in this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ6giVKp9ec
Leave a Reply