As I said in my previous post about this part of public speaking, I firmly believe that anybody can be a public speaker, and that everybody has the potential for being good speakers. This, however, demands work. Some people need less, some need more of this hard work. I will get back to some hero-stories related to this part, in the coming posts.
With that said, I don’t think there is an Answer Key to be used by all, in the same way. I know there are experts in this field that teach the right body language based on cultural similarities in interpreting signal systems and so forth. My experience is that even the most commonly shared body signals are differently interpreted depending on the person performing them (and of course, to context). Thus, I don’t give any shortcuts. Because I don’t have any shortcuts. If I had, I would share them.
Let me give an example: when I was young and studying public speaking and rhetoric at university, we had to deliver our speeches in front of an audience and a camera. Afterward, we received feedback from the teacher, which was part of our assessment. My then-boyfriend delivered his speech—confident and with a strong delivery. I also delivered mine, equally confident.
When I watched our recordings, I realized that we shared certain gestures. For instance, we both stood straight with good posture, made eye contact with the audience, and kept our hands relaxed behind our backs. Despite these similarities, I noticed—and the teacher pointed out—that we were perceived differently. My boyfriend was a bodybuilder, larger than I was, and risked being interpreted as cocky or even intimidating. On the other hand, I, being smaller and likely appearing less tough than I both thought and felt, was perceived as “confident in my point.”
This taught me an important lesson. And many similar situations, both from my own experience and in my coaching work, have conveyed the same message. That’s why I don’t offer definitive, one-size-fits-all answers, even though there are some general guidelines worth keeping in mind.
For example: open body language conveys confidence and tends to come across as welcoming. Closed body language—such as crossed arms, holding your body tightly, or looking downward—can appear insecure and reserved. Eye contact with the audience is inviting and creates a connection, while darting eyes are often seen as uncertain. But as I said, all these general tips are just guidelines and need to be adapted to each person’s style.
That’s why most of my workshops in this area are hands-on and exercise-based. Each participant works to discover their own body language and build on their strengths. In some cases, participants also identify weaknesses that can be slightly adjusted or toned down. These exercises progress from very simple to more advanced levels, depending on the time available. The best part of every workshop is seeing participants who doubted themselves suddenly realize they’ve achieved something big!
Of course, it’s impossible to convey the lessons from practical exercises in a blog post because the whole point is, well, that they’re practical. 🙂 However, as a small inspiration, you might try reflecting on your own body language while walking. Notice how you position your arms, hands, and torso. Are you looking down or forward? Is your chin tilted downward or slightly upward? How are you holding your gaze? Observing these things can give you an idea of what you might need to work on.
For fun, I’d like to illustrate how absurd things can get when you treat body language as a strict rulebook. It’s a bit mean to poke fun at this example since it’s taken out of its historical context and served its purpose (to critique overly dramatic preachers) in its time. But it’s so amusing in this context that I can’t resist. If you pick up the book Lectures to My Students by Charles Haddon Spurgeon (from the 1880s), you’ll find sketches of prescribed gestures, complete with arrows showing their directions—so you can try them at home in front of a mirror. If you think it’s fun. I do, obviously.
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